Birds And The Bees
by Neish
Summary: So Val is reborn and he's got himself a little friend. Filia doesn't think he's the right age for a girlfriend and Xellos suggest giving him the talk. Filia and Xellos end up talking things over once Val leaves leading to X/F


  
  


Title: Birds And The Bees

Author: Ruby Moon Metallium

A/N: I got this idea a while back when my mom did her little 'sex' talks to me and my brother. Of course I wasn't paying very much attention and my mind slipped to this idea. We all know Valgarv was reborn and stuff so that means he has to learn all of life's little....err...Lessons all over again. 

D/C: I don't own Slayers but if I did...I'd make sure it would always continue! I'd make sure there was a 4th season!

~*~*~*~

Little Val came skipping home one day with his newest friend. Filia mused to herself how much her dear Val had grown up. He was going to be a handsome young dragon someday and would have a wonderful life. 

The two dragon children came rushing in the house holding hands. His newest companion's name was Maya, a little black dragon girl with long stringy dark hair and big questioning magenta eyes. Val led her to his mother with a huge smile. "Mom, this is Maya! She's my new girlfriend." Val and Maya giggled and stuck to each other.

"A girlfriend?" Filia asked . Val was too young to have a girlfriend. Sure he looked around the age of a 14 year old human boy and he was pretty mature but honestly Filia just couldn't see sweet Val being interested with girls at his age. A boy like Val should be studying and helping his mother run the shop, not running around with a little dragon-girl. "That's nice Val, will she be staying for supper?" Filia bit back a cringe, she wanted to be polite and be a good mother.

"No, Val's mom. I can't stay because I have flute lessons today." Maya smiled.

"Oh that's too bad but for now you can go play somewhere." Filia brushed back her blonde hair and turned to go finish the dishes she had left in the sink from lunch time.

"We're going to play in the backyard, mom." Val said and led his friend out the door.

"That's fine, stay where I can find you though, Val." Filia commanded. She wanted to be able to watch over her son and make sure him and his little friend weren't doing anything....bad.

"Filia, the paranoid mother. That's a new one." Xellos mused. He had appeared sitting at the kitchen table the moment Val and Maya had left.

"Xellos, go away. I have to finish cleaning up and then make supper." Filia growled to the mazoku who promptly walked next to Filia and began scrubbing a few dishes with her. 

Filia looked at him with a shocked look as he scrubbed the dishes hard to remove the crusted food. He looked up at her with his eyes open and gave a smile. "Gotta help out the poor, hard working, single mother." Xellos sneered and put empathize on 'single'. 

"What are you implying?! That I can't get a mate?! I could if I wanted to!"

"Oh no, never!" Xellos gasped. Filia swung up her skirt to grab the mace but Xellos grabbed her hand. She was clutching her skirt up in her hand as Xellos wagged a finger at her with his other hand. "Filia, if you hurt me I can't help you with your dishes. I know how much dragons eat and I also know the messes they make, therefor you certainly need a helping hand." Xellos left her hand go and looked down towards her skirt. "I never knew you wore skimpy underwear like THAT!"

Filia looked down also. It seemed that she lifted up her skirt pretty high to retrieve the mace but then Xellos had caught her in mid-action leaving her skirt a bit over the hip to show her pink lacy undergarments. She dropped her skirt and blushed uncontrollably.

"Hentai! Eechi! You namagomi pervert!" She screamed.

"Yare, Yare....You should just stop flashing your underwear around that would stop the problem. It's not my fault you pull your skirt so high!" Xellos taunted her. So many emotions rose from Filia, disgust, loath, embarrassment, confusion, anger were the feeling Xellos could feel the most from her and he didn't mind it one bit. It was very much the contrary. He enjoyed so very much the feelings she had toward him. 

"So Filia, are you afraid little Valgarv will be running around with that little dragon-girl and might do naughty things or do you just want to keep your son to yourself?" Xellos taunted more.

"His name is Val now. I don't want any horrible memories of his past to surface, Xellos! You and I both know it's for the best so don't go sticking your little namagomi nose in other peoples affairs!" Filia growled out Xellos with a wrathful face. 

"Don't be a spoil sport Filia-chan! And if you're so worried about your son running around doing immoral things why don't you give him the 'talk'?" Xellos inquired. Filia blushed frantically. " You really aren't the one to be telling me when to have THAT kinda of discussion with Val. You probably don't even know what you're talking about!" Filia snorted.

"Is that so?"

"Yeah, it IS so..."

Just before an all out brawl broke out between the ex-dragon priestess and the mazoku priest, little Val came skipping in giggling about something. "Hi mom, hi Xellos-San! Maya had to go already, Mom. Say..... I didn't know Xellos-San was coming over for a visit today...Were you and mom-" Val was cut off by Xellos. 

"Val, would you like to hear a story?"

"Errr...what kinda of story Xellos-San?"

"One about the birds and the bees!" Xellos chirped. Val nodded with so much enthusiasm that Filia felt sick that her wonderful son enjoyed visits from Xellos. 

"Xellos! Didn't you understand I didn't want to tell him THAT story yet?!"

"You're not going to tell him....I am!" Xellos's genki smile was spread so much on his face Filia would have ripped it off if Val wasn't watching.

"Cool! I love your stories Xellos-San!"

"Oh you don't have to call me 'Xellos-San', Val!" Xellos said and patted the boy on his head.

"Mom told me I should be polite though..." 

"NOT TO THAT CREEPY NAMAGOMI!!!" Filia snapped. She couldn't stand it anymore! Why would Val get along so damn well with that fruitcake!?

"Filia-mama? Are you ok? You look like a tomato exploded in your face...." 

"He's right, Filia....Maybe you should clam down before you give yourself a heart attack...." Xellos comment just as Filia's fist came in direct contact with Xellos's head. 

"Maybe this story should wait after this little lovers brawl is done....I'm going to Alexei's house, ok?" Val said and walked out the door. The two adults jaws dropped a few inches. Where in L-sama's name would Val get the idea that Filia and Xellos were a couple!?

".....I feel sick...." Filia gagged a bit. If she was red before she was steaming now.

"What a horrible idea! Why would I, such a respected Mazoku ever be a couple with a selfish, name calling, childish Dragon!?"

"Respected!? Like hell, Namagomi! You're a good for nothing, lousy, idiotic, barbaric mazoku! I'd never be seen with the likes of you!"

They both stopped and thought for a minute. "Why did Val think we were together?" Filia asked, she calmed down some.

"Beats me....I bet it's all those stupid books you made him read...Like what his face, Shakespear with his stupid summer nights...."

"That's probably it...it gave him too much imagination. No more books for him!"Filia murmured.

"But we both are pretty beautiful people...."

"And we both come from powerful races...."

"And it's not like I don't enjoy our visits...."

"I suppose you do help a bit to raise Val...."  
  
"And we are both powerful...."

"Maybe....we aren't....THAT bad, together?"

Filia and Xellos looked at each other and paused for a moment. Time slowly passed as more thoughts slipped in and out of their minds. Suddenly they both had a clever, kind of funny grin.

"I'll lock the doors, you get the whip cream!"Xellos said and they both rushed off.  
  


~*~*~*~

Yeah the last part was ooc but it was a long running joke between my friend and I so I decided to use it.

I might continue if I get enough reviews^_^ I have a few other ideas that would be quite funny...So Val doesn't get to hear the story but maybe he might get a demonstration...(nothing THAT bad...I'm not gonna write a lemon or lime.) R/R!  
  



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